Catch a falling star

2004-12-04T21:13:00.000-08:00

ive moved(:

2004-12-02T21:06:00.000-08:00

TAUFIK WON YAY!!!
basically today i just met the guys for tennis. then nic and xiner came along arnd 11+.*thanks for the boomerang jy* [i dont care if i get ostracised anymore really. whatever people do they have their reasons and i shant be bothered since they want to do as they please] then around 1 we went to kfc for lunch yums popcorn chicken shaker yums (: colesaw with tomyam + garlic pepper is nice [once again i got left out thanks, thanks] x) then badminton and as usual i was booed alot of times [yea go boo me hurt my feelings im so happy] then i lost to nicole. after that we went to bingxiang's house to chill ;) and me pf and jinyao stayed to watch agent cody banks 2-which rocked :D [who can guess that im feeling moody? i guess i finally realised alot of stuff. i have to jolt myself back to my senses i know i have been a FAKE and i wanna be real. true to myself and i dont live for anyone else]
then at home mom screamed at me again and i felt like shit shit shit
talked to jolene on msn. and i realised how FAKE people can be. yes, fake. like ME]

im sure alot of people dont value my existence but i dont really want to care anymore, at least i know some who do. and to melissa: happy 15th birthday and cheer up no matter what u'll still have me i promise i promise i promise

[im sorry, i needed to blow. but i wonder why im not feeling any better]

2004-12-01T09:04:00.000-08:00

gone and came back
daryl; thanks for the bracelet
melissa; happy birthday in a day
jinyao; thanks for the boomerang,aust must have been cool
marissa; thanks for the mini haversack
irene; missed you loads too
bernice; dont worry about the squashed cakes:D

coming back
PRAGGERS yay! JacYixiaoYitingYangziJiajunYingtingXinyiKimberlyKerryn--

gone and not back
kelvin; i miss you
felicia; I MISS YOU MEIMEI
peirong; having fun in korea? (=

going to go
daryl; u'll have fun in m'sia
amandas; bring snow back for me my dear banana!(:

eunice; have fun in thailand :D
seraphina; you too dear!

2004-11-30T20:16:00.000-08:00

eeeks. my dieting plans are foiled. i guess i'll have to stick to being the good ol' roly-poly jiamin. hahah all that talk about determination, and i succumb to temptations at the snap of the fingers. have been eating alot these few days. ><
ahh yea today me zhenyu and wenshi went to tp kbox to sing our hearts out. hahah it was so funny and we really had a great time there. like relieving the old times...where SHINE got our first trophies which we held up high with glory. yet now, we can only look back, where the memories are playing like a film without sound. but i think we dont sound too bad either :D three cheers for SHINE!

oh yea amandas. thanks for honouring me in your blog! i shall write about you sometime soon. my dear banana =)

p.s i miss you.

2004-11-21T19:05:00.000-08:00

i need to cut down on carbos. and start dieting. this is it, ive got to have all the determination i have. yes, NO hershey kisses for you, jiamin. From now on u'll just eat as little as you can. and exercise vigorously. or you'll never lose that few pounds you need to lose. Todayy onwards you are going to have a new lifestyle- NO pigging out NO snacking between meals NO bingeing on chocolate.

am feeling depressed. so many people are going overseas. so many.
psgl duties next thursday for nygh open house from 1-3pm. So how to attend cip? How to go badminton gathering with them?

eatlessexercisemore.
keep it up girl!

p.s Melissa is back. YAAYyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!

2004-11-13T18:53:00.000-08:00

12th November
Dear mel.
Choir today was ok i guess.But it just isnt the same without u here.something's missing, and the atmosphere just seemed so much quieter and emptier without u guys around. well we practised the SYF set piece, <>. Was a three part song. Had sectionals with alto 2, but total altos count: 3. thats me, melissa goh and sylvia[obviously referring to non-prague people] and sylvia had to get the printing done, so me and melissa had to do sectionals on our own. yes, two of us (: can u believe it? we actually finished sectionals in 30 mins without sylvia and thats much earlier than the sops. what can i say? altos rock! uhh then when we combined our voices were more than reasonably loud because there were only 3 of us, but our voices were as loud as the others in the other sections. and there were some funny ups and downs in the melody which melissa and i tried to sing in tune...so were so happy when we sang it perfectly as we combined. sylvia was very proud of us (: yay. and we heard the prague people sing mundi renovatio and the petr eben song. they are improving by leaps and bounds; ms lim seemed pretty satisfied. yay and i think the non-prague people us who sang<> performed better than tkgs that morning according to ms lim. did i mention that she came to choir with a black face and ranted about tkgs...she even said something abt tendering her resignation at tkgs. :| ohh well.
oh yea, here's abit about the song <>; its quite weird, but mel and i had a fun time singing it. first it was in tamil i think. then chinese then english...but nvm. ooh and ms lim said no practice for next friday. postponed to saturday so that u sec 3s can come back to sing with us. mel i miss you, hope you are having fun in shanghai. and thanks for the smses and the nice postcard! xD i hope you dont find me quite lame, me writing to you like this. ohh well.
choir just isnt the same without you guys around! so come back quickly please.

See you in 8 days(:
<3 jiamin

2004-11-13T11:57:00.000-08:00

they say lost love is the most bitter;but i think that to have loved and lost is better than to have not loved at all, since love can touch us one time and last for a lifetime.

food for thoughts; does eight letters or three words really mean what they are or is it just what we have been taught

2004-11-12T21:14:00.000-08:00

boomba. jiamin banana has lost all her squishiness. since yesterday~~ jiamin banana wishes to say "zingzing" to all who loves her and tried to cheer her up. thats michy, raisin, amandy banana and YOU. just pretend that jiamin banana was pms-ing or was having a bad day because her brother cheated in chinese chess. thanks so much you guys, jiamin banana is so touched that she wants to cry. jiamin banana may be a banana but she has feelings too. so whatever you do, please think of whether it will unsquishify jiamin banana. jiamin banana knows she has many oomph friends and she wants to say to you ~~bananas~~ guys: googoo gaga squish! (:

jiamin and amandy's guide to banana language
aiyar= cheeepooz
byebye=loulou
darling= lublub
dont worry=ladeedum!
good=oomph!
haha=heeheehee[or heeeheeeheeeheee if feeling extremely high]
haix= hardehaa
hello=ananab
hmph=pooey
i dont care= bamehmeh poopsie doo
i dont know=poopapa
i know= poolala
i love you=googoo gaga squish
maybe= bahbah
never mind= oohaha baboom
nice=geezus
no=oohaha
nothing= nooopie
okay=boomba
oops=ackkk
please= googoonahnah
poke=pook
shit= shitakoo
sorry=eh-oh
thankyou=zingzing
we are bananas and we are proud of it= poot poot banana gah tutu da dee dum poot!
what = harhar
whatever= poopsiebooboo
yay!= squishy!
yes=lalala
you rock= yokobaba
yucks=eekybooboo
(:= |--|[represents two bananas holding hands]

xD heeeheeeheee. amandy banana, googoonahnah tell me if all the newly added words are boomba with you.

loulou people! googoo gaga squish! zingzing (:

2004-11-11T14:46:00.000-08:00

yeeeeeek. so bored. spent an hour at the gym. then went to popular to read books. now i am back to wallow in total boredom. and there arent even people i can talk to online on my contact list. oooh but i read abit of "digital fortress" by dan brown at popular. Got really into the book, then dad said we had to go. awwwww...im so inspired by dan brown! the language is so captivating, and the storyline is really good. who has the digital fortress, angels and demons, deception point or the da vinci code to lend me?
there's choir tomorrow. yay one of the few times i am looking forward to choir practice. because i love the song yoru. ms lim actually complimented us! what an accomplishment. so tomorrow we are going to work and improve on it.
yeeek, i havent had my strawberrybanana milk for a grand total of a week and a day. bahhh.
ahh yes im going to pcps on tues for the fair thing to show my support for my darling juniors! yes 6aians, choristers and fellow friends, here we come. wheee cant wait. then on wednesday im going out with amandy banana and eunice.
for today, i think i'll just spend my time chatting online and tagging people's blog.
tata--

2004-11-10T16:20:00.000-08:00

yucks. i must be so damn bored if i am blogging THRICE a day?!?!?!anyway i just came back from watching princess diaries. awwwwww, perfect ending, like always. well mia's now queen of genovia. wheeeeee like i am so happy for her? oh well.

Ok. Never mind.

I am going to knock myself on the head if i come up with such a pathetically boring and crappy post the next time.

2004-11-10T11:16:00.000-08:00

And then i was talking to sars, thinking of what part-time jobs we could take up. Apparently Sai's mother's flowershop need some helpers. And beck was saying how we could go take up a job at mosburger. If i really do i'll much rather be serving people and making burgers. Not like sars, she wants to stay unnoticed at the back like clean the toilets or sweep the floor. Dunno i really want to have waitress experience. wahaha but seeing that mosburger is a self service kinda system all i have to do is to bring food to them and say "heres your food". If i learn to make burgers it would be cool. But if mosburger provides free lunch then i'll eat there till i become the size of pOOh. Beck says the pay is $6 per hour, i think its quite good...in addition i can make more friends, its really not bad.

This is totally crappy. I dont even know if mosburger needs people. Or whether we are of the right age.

whatever. I am pms-ing again I guess. xO

2004-11-10T10:56:00.000-08:00

Have been slacking all week, either going out with friends or doing nothing. I am so not going to let this holiday go to waste. Maybe later i'll stop by tpcc to get some fliers to see what classes i can take up. Cooking or dancing. Like whatever anything's better than decomposing at home. Going out with ruixin and co. later to watch princess diaries. Looks like today wont be so bad afterall (:

2004-11-09T09:30:00.000-08:00

oh yes, Amandy banana and I took some pictures.

Dont we just look alike? (:
We look so alike, I cant tell which one in the picture is me.

I have never in my life seen real snow before, only fake stuff at snow city.
So Amandy banana promised to bring me some pictures of snow from japan.
She's so nice (:
She rocks my stinkiest pyjamas.

2004-11-09T08:40:00.000-08:00

Good music good life.
HARP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At the creative arts workshop yesterday I had lots of fun and made 2 good friends(: Charlotte and AMANDY BANANA! oh yea, Amandy banana. Amandy+Jiamin=Banana in pyjamas and i am B2 because i am younger. She's so cute. She just rocks my pyjamas.And she really reminds me of eehui! xD they have an uncanny resemblence...kind of freaky because felicia said the same thing.
Anyway back to the workshop. First we had the creative writing thing, quite fun, ms lydia teo was the speaker. ms teo's so nice. she's the first person i've met for so long to say that I'VE GROWN and will GROW very tall in future. Haha she's so cool. Did anyone read the booklet? They said she dreams to climb the limestone rock faces in Thailand for a living because she's mad over rock climbing. she's so amusing too (=
Then the dance workshop. Haha it was so action-filled. Miss shirley wong taught us some retro dance steps, then taught us abit about cheorography, all the tricks and funny antics and stuff to add in to dances. And that's when I met Charlotte, because she was my partner. We posed and made up funky dance moves, like hawaiian dance and square dance and very retro old dance. wahahaha. she's nice. we are going to take up dance lessons in the holidays together xD wheee.
After lunch we had the chinese opera workshop. i have no comments =p
THEN THE HARP WORKSHOP.
It was love at first sight when i saw the harp. Honestly. i have never seen anything quite so beautiful and grand. But of cause, the love sort of turned into a broken dream when Mrs Ee proudly announced that her Harp, her baby, cost a grand $30000. And then when she played on the harp, her fingers lightly dancing on the strings, the most, most, most, most, most angelic sound was prouduced...it melted my heart [I know it melted yours too AMANDY BANANA] I had a go at it...with every passing moment the urge for me to take up harp lessons grew stronger. But i knew mom will never let me. Because although a harp ranges from a $1000 to a $60000, the lessons are not cheap, similar to that of a piano's. And i am already taking piano. I bet singapore dont have any good harp teachers. phhffff. what a letdown. Did you know that harp strings are made of SHEEP GUT? the nice clear twinkling sound produced from those strings...xO
oh and here's where I met Amandy banana. Amandas, really. Because both of us were simultaneously googaaing over the harp. And she was laughing at how serious I look when we talked about taking harp lessons. :p Kept saying i looked like garfield. I think she looked like twinky winky. But i cant say that because if she looks like eehui, and she looks like twinky winky, dont that make eehui look like twinky winky? ^_^ so both of us decided that we are BANANAS IN PYJAMAS! I am b2 btw...she's b1. AMANDY BANANA.
A note from amandy banana: amandas says that jiamin is very cute and chio and she wants to see her playing the harp...amandas also wants to play the harp lah
*_*the last part of the workshop was the film appreciation workshop, the speaker was wayy cool, cant rmber her name though =D. we watched a hindi film, so nice. Indian dances are KAWAIIIIIIIII. we really were quite disappointed when we had to leave without watching the whole movie...taken some interest in hindi films now. haha
Oh and food was good. The school has never fed us so well. Nasi lemak...Veggie rice...Chicken wings...curry puff...
Overall the workshop was beneficial. And i liked it. really enjoyed myself thoroughly. AND MY HARP. I am going to have to sleep every night, with the harp on my mind. Amandy banana, I know you'd agree with me.

good music good life.
HARP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2004-11-06T10:43:00.000-08:00

I havent updated for a long time. Lets see...my last entry was on October 24th. In a twinkling of an eye the holidays are here, leaving me to rot at home, to stare into space with a blank look in my eyes. School is over, choral night is over, fund raising is over. And this is the end of our tapestry of efforts, the times that we've work so hard, come so far together. I actually miss school now. I'll much rather attend a chinese culture lesson in school then rot at home. I don't know. Like what Pei Rong says. You'll never miss the water until its gone... How i wish i had cherish it. But anyway, it had been a great year. And i am glad to have served my duty as 1/3's secretary, or assisstant monitor.
I dont think i have given in my all and very best yet. I'll keep my fingers crossed for next year's monitor and assisstant. Hopefully they'll do a greater job than i have done.
Thank you 1/3, for all the times we've shared.

2004-10-24T21:20:00.000-07:00

1: Name:jiamin
2: Nicknames: jiajia, minmin, ah min, moron ma, nu ren[fel], da jie[fel also]
3: Eyes: blackish-brown
4: Height: 158 and still growing...HOPEFULLY
5: Hair: sunkissed black hair
6: Siblings: 11 yr old kiddo brother
7: Do you like to sing in the shower: yep. i do.
8: Do you like to sing in the toilet? depends on what i am doing.
9: Birthday: 5/2/91
10: Sign: aquarius
11: Address: .
12: Sex: Yes please. jk, jk. Female.
13: Righty or lefty: Righty.
14: What do you want in a relationship most? Mutual understanding. Love. Care. Trust. That connection.
15: Have you ever cheated? hmm. i dont noe if i did. but if i did i forgot.
16: Marital status: attached. hahaha i mean, not married.
17: Do you have a car: i cant drive -_-
18: What kinda a car do u have/want: whatever lor.
FAVORITE QUESTIONS:
19: Movie: the day after tomorrow. wimbledon.
20: Song: Amazed-lonestar, Never be replaced-First ladi, open up ur mind, somewhere out there[ NOT the clay aiken version], Graduation, Toxic, if we hold on together, Once upon a day.
22: T.V show: too many.
23: Actor: edison chen.
24: Actress: kirsten dunst.anne hathaway.
25. Food: Chocolates! Candies- hershey's kisses. sour candies. health bar. yoghurt. fruits. spaghetti. pizza.
26: Number: 9, 11, 4
27: Letter: K.
28: Cartoon: tom and jerry. TELETUBBIES!![is it considered one?]
29: Disney: aladdin. because jasmine's in it. hehe
LOVE LIFE ETC:
30: Are you in love: Yes.
31: Do you plan on having children: Of course i do.
32: Do you want to get married:Yepp.
33: How old do you wanna be when you married: 25 at least. 28 the oldest.
34: Would you have kids before marriage: of cos not! im decent ok.
35: How many kids: 3 ;)
36: Do you have a b/f or g/f:.
37: Do you have a crush: ^_^
38: Music/T.V.: music.
39: Guys/Girls: Guys because they are easy going and they can take things well. Not petty and calculative. Girls because they are good listeners and confidants. Treasure relationships alot.
40: Green/Blue: Greenish blue.
41: Pink/Purple: pink. pale pale pink.
42: Summer/Winter: winter.
43: Night/Day: Night!
44: Hangin Out/Chillin: Chilling. (:
45: Dopey/Funny: Dopey! i suppose i am more of dopey than funny anyway. bernice would agree. hehe.
46: Weird Saying I have: hmmmm.
47: What school: Nygh.
48: Have you ever had drugs?: depends on what u call drugs.
49: What's a major turn on for you?: Personality. Sensitive and understanding character. Romantic too (:
50: How far would you go on a first date: holding hands ^_^
FRIENDS
51: Nicest: All of them!
52: Funniest: Felicia and Eunice crack me up :B
53: Happiest: Irene.
54: Strangest: -----
55: Most Caring: Nicole. Felicia.
56: Tallest friend: Zeena
57: Smartest: Nicole and Irene. Ruiping. Xinrong. xD
58: Most mature: Ruixin! (: yay darling.
59: Best personality: definitely ruixin. and yimin.
61: What was the last thing you cried over or got teary about?: i am not saying anything.
62: Are you happy: yes, quite! :D
63: Love or Lust: Love.
64: Silver or gold: Silver.
65: Diamond or pearl: Diamond. crystal clear.reflects.
66: Sunset or sunrise: Sunset-- i can never wake up early JUST to watch the sunrise.
67: Have you ever gone skinny-dipping: whatever, no.
68: Do you sleep with stuffed animals: yea. the bear that nicole gave me for my bdae when i was P4.
69: Do you have any piercings:Earholes.
70: What colour underpants are your wearing right now: dont noe and dont care.
71: What song are you listening to right now: never be replaced ;)
72: What are your last 4 digits of your phone number: 8089.
73: Where would you want to go on your honeymoon: europe.japan.america.
74: Who do u want to spend the rest of your life with: him.
75: What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex: appearance. quirks.
77: What makes you happy?: music. and love.
78: What's the next cd you going to buy? how do i know. i dont plan my cd purchases.
79: Do you wear contacts or glasses? glasses.
80: The best advice given to you? some friends. (:
81: Have you ever won a special awards: 4th for cross country? outstanding pupil award? hmm. actually i dont noe.
82: What is your future goals? visit the bermuda triangle. be a pyschologist/psychiatrist. be a nurse. be a caregiver. be a wedding planner. be a teacher. excel in life.pursue my personal legend. :D
83: Worst sickness u ever had: migraine.
84: Do you like funny or scary movies better? funny. scary movies turn me off.
85: On the phone or in person? in person xD
86: Hugs or kisses? Hugs. kisses i reserve for
87: What song seems to reflect you the most?: amazed.
88: If you died tomorrow whom would you leave everything you own to? my soulmate. my best friends. my family.
89: Greatest fear? : to lose him. to lose my friends. to lose everything i love.
90. Famous or rich? neither.
91: Do you want your friends to write back?: of cos xD

2004-10-24T20:12:00.000-07:00

THE COMPUTER ATE UP MY ENTRY AGAIN!!! AND I SPENT 20 MINUTES TYPING IT!!! ERGH.

Gag me. I just realised theres speech tomorrow. I hate speech practices. I hate choral night.I am so in love with french movies, I'll MUCH rather go to third lang if i had the choice.
Too bad i dont. ):

2004-10-24T19:45:00.000-07:00

Never be replaced
Baby I love you and i'll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
All the love we make can never be erased
And i promise you that you will never be replaced
I love you yes i do
I'll be with you as long as you want me too
Until the end of time

From the day I met you
I know we'll be together
And now I know I wanna be with you forever
I wanna marry you and i wanna have your kids
Thinking never compare to feel enough to kisses
I can say i'm truly happy to the same
You've made me think I'll die and live my life hesitate
There's never been no doubt in my mind
That i'll regret ever having you by my side
But if the day come that i'll have to let you go
I think that something I should probably let you know
With everyday that i spent with you
Then i will miss you cuz i'm happy that i have you at all

I feel for you yes i do
I'll be with you as long as you want me to
Until the end of time

http://www.boomspeed.com/kattiezz/neverbereplaced.mp3

2004-10-21T21:26:00.000-07:00

Amazed

Everytime our eyes meet
This feeling inside me
Is almost more than I can take
Baby when you touch me
I can feel howmuch you love me
And it just blows me away
I've never been this close to anyone or anything
I can hear your thoughts
I can see your dreams
***
I don't know how you do what you do
I'm so in love with you, it just keeps getting better
I wanna spend the rest of my life, with you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Baby I'm amazed by you
***
The smell of you skin
The taste of your kiss
The way you whisper in the dark
Your hair all around me, baby you surround me
You touch every place in my heart
Oh, it feels like the first time everytime
I wanna spend the whole night in your eyes
***
Every little thing that you do
I'm so nove with you
It just keeps getting better
I wanna spend the rest of my life, with you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Oh, every little thing that you do
Baby I'm amazed by you...

so in love with u_______.x*

2004-10-21T13:21:00.000-07:00

SORRY, FELICIA!!

wheeee. overjoyed. x-country over finally. and im happy with my performance. with my aching knee and all tt...(: den a few of us stayed back to practise for tmr's captain ball's match...hehe and after that me jac peirong bernice faus and karene laughed ourselves silly in our little game of mOnKeY...whooosh.
was wondering, whats the problem with the class. Some people i mean. I dont noe wad happened, so i am in No place at all to judge...but apparently things got quite sOur just now regarding the game...well this cant do. we have gotta foster our team relationship. gotta be united as one. gotta beat the opponents off their pants. gotta stay as a team. gotta be focused-strategise, co-operate.
well nvm. going off soon to shop for curtains for my room at spotlight. then off to a dental appointment. guess i am making good use of the remaining time with my braces. gotta change them into red, green and white-christmas colours!
looking forward to christmas(= someones giving me a big present. YAY. cant wait.

gotta work on my present for that person too. whooosh.

2004-10-18T15:30:00.000-07:00

Today is a FREAKING unlucky day. Damn it, i must be so down on my luck nowadays. Just cant get enough of bad news. ERGHHHHH. We got back our English papers. Right, and i barely even passed my essay writing, summary and LUTT. dang. HOW nice. i m like, one of the lowest scorers in class. A B4 wont get me very far. Damn.
Then the chinese papers. Well this time god was abit fairer to me and i was rather pleased with my chinese results. At least it sorta balances things up, and i thought that was pretty decent. But i am really scared that if my english grades keep screwing up, i am going to end up with no third lang to study. BUT I LOVE FRENCH. i mean it, I LOVE FRENCH. I just hope i still can remain in French. Its like a passion for the language. And just when i am falling in love with it, things has to be so unstable.

OH wells. Today felicia started the ouijia craze in class. I was kinda bemused and i didnt believed it at all initially. Then when i really tried my hand at it, i got sorta freaked out. Because the ouijia thingie really reflects some sort of response when we ask a question. And most of them are relevant. and TRUE. Maybe we really shouldnt meddle too much with it. but its kinda like an addiction. Like u want to noe more about what will happen and what the future holds for u. So i asked quite alot of questions. Like at what age am i going to marry. the pen wrote 28. Then i asked like at what age am i going to give birth. The pen wrote 28 too. Hmmmmm. Then i asked who i will marry when i am 28, then the pen started scrawling out the name! I am still getting goosebumps as i think of it now. this is weird with a capital W.
Felicia asked the ouijia pen when shes going to die. Then found out that shes going to die on 12th November 2004 Friday. Sigh i seriously think that she shouldn have asked that cos the date will haunt her like a ominous alarm.

In the afternoon we had the psgl interviews. ERGHHH. i dont think i have done really well. Dont think i will pass the second round. Turned out that i broke two school rules, my dark blue furry scrunchie and my denim big-face watch. DARN it. I dont even noe dark blue accessories are NOT ALLOWED!! i thought derek tan said we could don them. And what a fantastic time for me to lose my watch. U noe, that silver thin metallic one.
AHHHHH. all the happenings today kinda sucked.
i'll keep my fingers crossed for a better day tomorrow. but darn, we are going to get back our math and science papers.
Joy to the world, i think u wont see me around after tomorrow.

2004-10-17T22:31:00.000-07:00

i've realised how funny it is.

that people dont seem to realise and treasure what they have around them till its gone, for good.
that's when they start to panick and regret for not cherishing what they possessed until its too late.
Why do people never learn? Do we want to live a life half-lived? and grow old to regret what we have done, or rather what we have NOT done when we had the chance.

Its all about choice, whether you choose to love, or you choose to let go.

2004-10-14T08:41:00.000-07:00

Ok I've realised the very very wrong opinion CERTAIN people *xrjolenesars* have of me, and i want to clear all misunderstandings, for ONCE and for ALL now. Firstly, kindly do not emphasize on my undying love for Mrs Ng, especially when there isnt any in the first place. Its a very wrongful thing to do, and if i shall die tomorrow without telling you this, i shall vomit in my grave. Secondly, i am not anybody's assmon, no one owns me, i belong to ME. So, i'll appreciate it if you would just respect me as an INDIVIDUAL, for I never want to belong to someone if I dont feel that I have any connection in whatever aspect with them.

Well, I suppose I cannot deny that I respect Mrs Ng because she is OUR teacher and I simply admire her out of respect. However, that does not mean that I love her with all my heart. Firstly, I am perfectly straight, and i do not go for people of the same sex. Secondly, I already have a mother i love, the woman who gave me life, brought me into the world, whose blood courses thru my veins. So do not try to replace her for me.

And i dont have high hopes, so i do not expect ur thinking to change after reading this. But kindly remember that I do not want to be wronged. Nobody likes being wronged in fact. Why did i greet her?

i was born polite.
i was born brave.

2004-10-13T22:20:00.000-07:00

i was unlucky again. one of the screws of my glasses came out just as i was getting ready for the outing. darn. haha so i groped and felt my way from toa payoh to tampines...to meet felicia at the mrt. hahahahahah felicia is so cute! ok so we had breakfast[brunch?] at longjohnsilvers...we ordered like toast with cheese and egg [YUMS!] with some potato salad thingie[weird '''-_-] and we waited for a good half hour before our order arrived. Felicia ordered some clam chowder[ double yumm!] and fries [wow u wouldnt believe it, longjohnsilver sells YUMMY, long and plentiful fries in a packet for a mere $1!! definitely worth it(: ] and then we ate and talked la. then we went to century square and i got my specs fixed, then we went to YELLOW this cool funky retro shop and looked arnd..then went to some shops to jalan jalan. ok so we went into tampines mall too, and went arnd to shop. to look arnd la...window shopping. well no money, so we jus feasted our eyes. haha bought some clips, and then went into pretty in tokyo..to take neos! tadaaa! well i hav to admit those were the best quality machines i have ever used! ok so me and fel posed. so cute. ^^; well it was well worth the $4 compared to other experiences i have "erHEMerHEm". nvm nvm. den we went to get some lemon tea and finger food. went to her house, it was nice! haha den we went to chill out in her room. her room's really comfy and spacious. and NEAT. oh mans i am so guilty. then we toked toked toked and watched abit of movie...and we toked LOTS. reached home at arnd 6. lol cant believe it. i think i am suffereing from calorie overdose! omg. when my knee heals i am SO GONNA WORK OUT. u bet i will :D
oh wells, i had fun today!
and i realised how much love means to me.

2004-10-12T22:30:00.000-07:00

wheeeeeex. i am declaring my love for my family doctor! She has saved my knee from eternal swollening. Yay. Omans...my knee hurts so much these few days cos theres water inside there! thats why it swelled too. i cant rly explain how theres water in there. But. But. hahahaah i hope it'll heal soon.
Anyway why do i love her? because I LOVE HER WEIGHING MACHINE! haha i am officially a whooping 43.4kg. fine tts not vv light. but im lighter than i think! XD whee and i am 157.5cm, yes its short, but DONT LAUGH u people! the doctor assured me that i will definitely grow taller than 160cm. HEHEHEHEHE. I hope she isnt a hoax. hahaha. she cant be.
Ok i am going out with felicia and to her house tomorrow! Wheeeezie. cant wait!

2004-10-12T16:58:00.000-07:00

Dear lady luck;

i wonder why, for all these many days, you have never been by my side. Or maybe you have, its just that u always leave me when i need u most. And you leave me stranded and wallowing in my own pool of embarrassment and total humiliation, and for that, i salute you. And thanks, thanks so much for making me want to dig a big hole in the ground and hide inside it for a gazillion times. I really, really cant help thinking that i share an eternal enemity with you, thus bringing me moments of helplessness and loneliness. Well the luck that u gave me are all rotten. I hope you didnt intentionally rot them with mushrooms, then shower them on me, because i really, really really didnt need all those. I want to save myself some dignity, and give myself the face i deserve. I need that little amount [however u define little] of pride to look at the world straight in the eye.

My lady, if i had offended u, i am sorry, but please. please dont leave me when i need u most again. And the luck you give me, can they be good and not rotten? that would be most appreciated.

Yours sincerely.
Jiamin,
signing off with hearts of grace.

2004-10-11T16:53:00.000-07:00

wheeeeeex. muahahhahahahaha. whooosh. weeeeeeeeeeeeeee. yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. yayayaayayay. gooooggoooogagagagaga.
WAnna noe something wonderful? THERES NO SCHOOL FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK!! (= and those dumb dumb exams are OVER FOR GOOD, for this year!!! we ain gonna touch those books anymore! we are going to wash our hands off our studies FOR A GOOD TWO MONTHS at least. And we are gonna live life to the fullest each day, going out, enjoyin ourselves, so that we can balance our emotions from the shocks we have suffered during the exam period. Of cos, we can rest our brains, which have worked so much and so hard for the exams. OUR BRAINS DESERVE A LONG BREAK. Because they toiled for days...tiring themselves out and breaking down every now and then! omg. they need some time to recover. and i am going to nourish and nuture my brain cells because about a million of them have crenated and dieded on me, the reason for my mind blocks during those papers. If i dont do something abt this, my brain wont be able to operate anytime soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
next thing up that made me googoogaga. i have passed the first round of the psgl thingie! actually i am not feeling particularly elated, just pleasantly shocked. dont think i will pass the second rnd of interviews though, and i dont rly have much regards about it. ^_^ well i am already in holiday mode. slacking, playing all day, WHAT BLISS! WHOOSH.
alright, i am feeling muchh better than i did last friday, thanks to fel and kel and mel! haha ok to irene also. and to sarse. sarse with the big fat arse.
(: thankew peirong too! well to those ppl who blessed me with their oh so sarcastic remarks, i am so not going to give a damn, i am not going to be affected by u, cos i have my own life to lead and i dont need U to tell me HOW I LEAD MY LIFE, thankew vv much. SO while u are busy nosing abt other ppl's matters, why dont u dip ur big nose into urs, and see where YOU have gone wrong instead of repeatedly pointing out other ppl's error. HUH?
ok welll got abit touchy. hahahaha I AM GOING OUT WITH RUIXIN TOMORO!!!!!!!!
is that cool or wad? (=

2004-10-08T12:39:00.000-07:00

i am totally overreacting. i cant believe it. i cannot believe i did that just because of a stupid science exam. this is the second time ive done it since that time in p5..when i did it for a math exam. I did it in the presence of my father that time, and he was not at all sympathetic and encouraging. he almost rubbed it in so painfully that i just wanted to die.
today i did it again. i did it to my mom and i kept saying sorry. i kept telling her i have failed her as a daughter. i tried my best, i really did. but hard work dont always reap bountiful harvests. Just like for the other papers, i flopped. this science exam is just another one.
So today after the exam, I was pathetically groaning abt how i will fail it. And it got on their nerves. I know i suck and all, for being so mindless, tactless and brainless. For making them feel frustrated. For doing what I have always done. But i really couldnt help it. THis time it was as though Maktub that it will come true, that i will disappoint myself, and my parents in the end. Everyday i have been waking up at 4, to study as i thought i could absorb better in the morning stillness with no distractions. I really put in my all, give my best. I have never felt so passionate about studying before. Perhaps i really want to do them proud.
But now its all gone.
So I did THAT today, without even knowing it. but then it increased in intensity. And really, i shouldnt be blogging about that, because it made me feel ashamed. But i have to. Its 1232pm now after the science exam, i am alone at home, i feel so hollow.
Who can i do that to? There's no one here for me. And i dont want to burden anyone. Perhaps i have been deluding myself that i can do well, but my confidence only to be rewarded by disappointment, and i felt so shallow for doing what i have been doing and pissing everyone off. Seriously, i am sorry. I know i am wrong.
But i still feel empty. Perhaps i could do it again to my mother when she comes home later. She sympathised with me just now. Maybe she could counsel me again. I am feeling emotionally unbalanced.

2004-09-29T13:35:00.000-07:00

Now i am in the comp lab...and ms ang isnt here so ahhahaha i am blogging now though i think i really shud be studying instead. English Eoy tmr! Echhhhh i am darn freaked out can. WEll yesterdae's french EOY as OK for the written but totally sucky for the listening and i rly sucked cos i couldn hear half the time and i left about 5 marks worth of blanks. haha god bless me...
Hahahs saw nicole ahh and we hugged like two lesbos in the canteen...well anything for a bit of good luck. hehe and i saw jinyao and daryl...stupid jy grew so tall. so now hes calling me and nic SHORTIES< which i totally hate being called but oh wells. Ahhh and i saw guangyu wif his chuubbyy cheeks and with braces too. Saw kelvin too haha but hes still as discreet as ever and we didnt rly tok though we agreed to meet to plan revenge against TYL (: heeh
WEll i shall stop thinking abt that suckkky french EOY...after all...i have more battles to fight! Ahh well i think i am gonna flunk eng cos i havent touch it at all..the last time i saw a Language use Paper was 3 weeks ago i think. Welll tonight shall be my muggggg night. Ehh i aint gonna give out without a fight (:
And i shall piaa my chi and math, both subjects which i have neglected for a long time because of my geog and sci. EEKKK lit. Lit. Trust me, i am gonna fail that cos i havent read TA in depth yet! EKKKKK.
OH wells...woke up at 430 to study today so was feeling abit grouchy and in class i was swearing and cursing with marissa cos we think we are dying and we totally detest the mugging. two weeks more and its over...Well i am gonna hold my breath all the way. Good luck everyone! yayyyyyyyyyyy (:
oooh its 132pm now, i shall go off and read the shou3 ce4. hahahahahaha tatatatatata/ see u after the exams, my dear blog.
p.s XINRONG, JOLENE, SARS. i do not, DO NOT love her. NOT A SINGLE bit. RESPECT, yar. BUT NOT LOVE. AND SHE ISNT MY MOM, she's XINRONG's. in case u havent notice. yep.

2004-09-22T09:34:00.000-07:00

haix...EOY blues. havent been mugging to schedule. haix. i use the phone everyday!! isit a waste of time? oh my...i better stop being so procrastinating! ERGHHH. i already set myself with a schedule and goal tt i wanna achieve in less than 10 days...but its real exhausting to follow it obediently. sometimes i just wanna give up and go sleep, but i noe i cant. i just cant theres just too much to do.
haha friday there is no school so me and eun and tt piglet from 1/1 going to sheenie's house to give her last min crash course for science...i hope i can help her but i am very very lagging behind also.
I have a fringe now! ERGHHH i noe i look tooted ok. u ppl stop laughin at me and bernice. STOP SAYING I LOOK SPAS. HMPPPPHHHHH.
OMG I HAVENT TOUCHED LIT YET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NEITHER HAVE I TOUCHED MATHS AND CHINESE AND ENGLISH AND FRENCH.
wth, french oral this sat. french EOY next wed.
WHy dont i just go bang my head against the wall.
GahHHHHHHHHHHHHH

2004-09-11T10:52:00.000-07:00

hehe. yesterdae went to watch the bsd. just so happened that melissa had an extra ticket so she gave it to me. ooh how nice rite? yayyy. my sister rocks. ok anyway. the play was not bad la. i cant understand some parts. so i asked melissa to lend me their lit text which is also bsd. melissa was vv bad. she stole my scrunchie again and she tried to poke AND pinch me but hehehehehe i got my revenge. yayy den after tt jolene's daddy sent me home [thankew!].
This holiday, havent been doing much in my opinion. did some mild lit and geog revision [when i say mild. its VERY mild]. more of sci revision-started fr physics all over again. chinese...revised only abit. omg i havent started on french revision. ackkkk and i think the controle is coming soon too. so is the oral. eeeeeek i noe i am so gonna die. havent touch a single bitty of math and eng! haix. the geog assignment just killed all my brain cells.
ooh yar. this holiday have been table tennising with my wall pretty much. vv fun and can get quite vigorous. played piano everyday. came online everyday. then there was also the choir workshop. vv fun!! but some embarrassing stuff happened at KAP during lunch time. VV embarassing. yangzi was there to add to my embarrassment [thankew...-_-] hahaha
oh wells. so much for using the holidays to pia for eoys. i think i ended up slacking like a pig instead. oh well.

p.s i got a sister now! an elder one sumore! HOW COOL IS THAT? :p

2004-09-07T18:35:00.000-07:00

ahh. before choir today, we[that is, me, the melissas, and kerr]played some badminton for arnd 45 mins. hahahaha. melissa's racket had some blue stuff on the handle, and i ended up with a blue hand after playing for like 10 mins. it was quite farnie though. imagine 2 VERY FUNNY seniors constantly calling u names like Garfield. Erghh and also always laughing at idunnowad. oh wells. there was a lot of wind so we couldnt really have a good game. hehehe. But i played the most. Melissa GOH had zero confidence in herself totally. just refused to play. hmph. hehe during sectionals we were all laughing our heads off over the rose song. i tell u that is the most retarded song i have ever heard and sang, no offense though. and sylvia was clapping de beat for us. suddenly everyone started scratching themselves. ahhh there were mosquitoes. BLEH. so sylvia's beating was abit weird. cos she was actually trying to slap the mosquito and so made us all confused. hehe. after tt sylvia stank the whole COMPACT SMALL MINI TINY room up by uncapping the black marker[at least now we can come to a conclusion that nygh is blessed with the curse of the stinky black markers] and we wheezed. wheee. den after choir me joanna kerryn xingyi and yangzi stayed back in the BEEG BEEG music room and we played soccer! yep haha. we played with that BEEG BEEG Purple gym ball and kerr -woah!- slammed the gym ball arnd. and she exerted too much strength, and sent the ball flying upwards, hitting de ceiling and causing one of the squarish tiles to fly down. -_-'' kerr... haha after that joanna managed to put it back up by standing on a table n she almost ended up falling and squashing herself. hehe. oh wells. on the bus home me kerr and joanna sang lotsa songs. well not alot. just those that any of us know how to sing other parts. i think we annoyed this man in a yellow shirt -_- but this old mama was looking quite happy and smiling quite plesantly when we sang mu4 ge1. haha. yep tts all for today.

-my heart officially died today-

2004-09-04T08:07:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, there were two girls, A and N. They got to know each other through their CCA, and they hit it off right away. They became good frends, maybe not on the outside, but they talk alot to each other through MSN. To N, A was someone she looked up to and probably could confide in. They talk about everything in the world, and they regarded each other more than just CCA mates. A had a lot of responsibilities to fufil and duties to cover in the CCA. Whenever she got frustrated over some problems, N will definitely try to cheer her up however she can, and hope to put a smile on A's face, and A always felt better after talking to N. N wanted to encourage A, be there for A and to always cheer her on whenever she feel down. Sometimes when A is sad, N cries with A silently, but A does not know it. When A is happy, N rejoices with A silently, but A does not know it too. One day, something happened during CCA. N was unhappy with A, but N thought it over and realise that it wasnt A's fault at all. So N tries to appear happy because she did not want A to get angry-N knew that it must be hard for A to do something like that. However, when N wrote something in her blog, A wanted to know what exactly N meant, so she kept asking N, but N just could not tell her. Something happened and A actually flared up, got angry with N, leaving N bewildered because this was such a small thing. A told N to leave her alone when N tried to make peace with her. A told N not to talk too much to her unless she wants to spoil the friendship. N was very, very, very sad. After all, N has always looked up to A, but now she has been asked by A to leave A alone. Everything left N feeling very weird and sad. A apologised to N and told her that there were some other problems that made her flare up, but they still should not talk to each other too much. N is angry too-after all, how could anyone force anyone to say something against their will, and then get angry when that person refuses to say? But N noes that everything must have been hard for A-laden with responsibilities and so much work. N thought it over, and tried to understand.
A was sick that night. N told A to take care of herself even after A told N to leave her alone. It was as if they were parting forever and that made N even more miserable. Perhaps N is too young to understand what A wants. Or the pressure she is facing. But hasnt N always be there to cry with A whenever A cries?
A friendship like that, scarred by the smallest thing.
N tells A to take care and rest well. After all, N may not get to talk to A anymore. N told herself to do what she can do as a friend. And she also told herself to not feel sad anymore, after all, in life u meet lots of different people. N wants to tell A sorry. I cannot be there to cry with you anymore. I wish you all the best.

2004-09-03T19:53:00.000-07:00

Ahh...why am i feeling so hyper and happy nowadays? I just feel totally hopeful and bursting with wonder.yiting, tingyi and melissa, JIA YOU!!remember: hang in there and u'll rockk.hope the choir will be united thru diversity no matter which section they belong too...we'll love Maria like shes our own, definitely:)

2004-09-02T22:21:00.000-07:00

i shall never regret what i have done. When i look back on my footprints in the sandy shore, each one leaving its mark, coming nearer towards my goal. I shall never hate myself for what i have done-sure i may cry each time, or my heart may break. However all is but part and parcel of growing up.

2004-09-01T12:05:00.000-07:00

"A good teacher is like a candle - it consumes itself to light the way for others. "

Thanks to all the teachers who made a difference in my life!-On this special day, chill out and relax.-

Woots. U deserve the biggest huggs.

2004-08-31T20:20:00.000-07:00

hm.observations for today-
1)my seniors are egoegoego.[particularly m_l_s_a-no prizes for guessing who's tt.]
2)nyc ppl rockk.
3)people change so much within half a year.
4)dont ever hit xinrong's head.
5)white cake looks good in brown hair.

ahh hahaha. the day started like any other original day. den we had our class party at 7.45. we got ready all the food and stuff and rearranged the tables, bernice as our DJ with a whole stack of cds by her side. then we all waited for quite some time so me decided to go find mrs ng. and xinrong followed;) with that sars and sai. found her-she said she'll go up in 5 mins. so we tried finding niu lao shi, wasnt easy at all, long story.anyway she was all surprised and happy, since it was an invitation from us to go up to our class for de parrttaayy. she said she would go up later as she had to entertain the flock of girls who had surrounded her like bees. so we went up with sars hitting me *there* every two mins. when we got there mrs ng was already sitting poshly cross legged and holding a cup of coke in her hand. yeah. the partaay starts. bernice did a good job as a DJ, and didnt abuse her authority to play energy songs THE WHOLE TIME. must have taken lotsa self constraint huh?;) i ate 2 plums, 1 orange and some grapes. den the cake arrived with "i see the soul of the world in your eyes" icing on it, resulting in an eruption of giggles and laughter, and mrs ng's repeated comment of how corny we are.[private joke]so we had lotsa fun. me and fel/jac/bao/bern/jiaying[attempted-marissa, xinrong, jolene]danced like madwomen having fits. ok, i mean dance with the most funkayyeness. so cool, esp with fel. made me all dizzy and hot but whew, we had fun. then some 1/8 girls, probably under the influence of some unsavoury stuff, threw cake on mrs ng.whew u guys are lucky its a special day for all teachers and no one could get angry for anything, so mrs ng was a good sport. well, cake looks good in her brown wavvy hair. like snowflakes on a tree bark. k lame. anyway, despite wearing those high and sharp heeled pointy shoes... she took a piece of cake and ran after the girls, finally slabbing it onto one of them. wow. never knew u had it in u mrs ng. then me and karene helped her wiped out the cake in her hair in the toilet. she was moaning abt how she will be goin to orchard to collect her two pairs of shoes which she had sent for cleaning and she didnt want to look to erm. yeah. den i gave mrs ng the prezzie-a heartshaped crimson cushie beanie in a netted bag, with a card inside. she was all "so sweeeet!"at me. hehehe. then we had to go dowwn. bleh. tried to get mrs ng to dance with xinrong. but i failed. ahhhh.///
anyway niulaoshi didnt come up at all. so sad! den we went down to hall for teachers day celebrations with performances for stuudents and teeacchherrs wow the performers were great! so many choir ppl were performing, and everytime i see one, i'll scream my guts out. woots. so when i saw yangzi and louise and gladys and yiting and yangge and zhouzhao i almost had a -wheezee-asthma attack from screaming tooo much. and although i didnt see meikeen, i knew she was playing the piano for the because u loved me song. so i screamed also, but it was drowned out by other sounds. yepp after that the teachers peformed for us, mrs ng looked like she was miming, mr paul tan looked like a big bad wolf[like always]. so cool. den 5 other teachers danced-chen lili laoshi, ms shirley wong, ms sabrina, ms yeo, ms nicole ong. wow they were simply fantabulous^_^ esp wong and yeo. rocck the stage, they. k and after tt i went to put all the cards in the teacher's pigeon holes and received a message from mer that they are celebrating zoe's birthdae with the 3D cake at the podium so i went down after stuffing all the cards into the holes [wheeww]joanna, mer and zoe was there. yep so i went to my horror to see the "holey" pandan cake in mer's hands, squished and squashed. and i was all [nice...]. mer tried to eat some cake and i simply admired her courage to do so. because i was so digusted that i refused to touch the cake. in the end whewww that mer influenced me and i began to make some beautiful artwork out of the cake. stuffed all the candles upside down in the cake, and poked holes with matchsticks erm shant go on describing the glory sight we beheld. though i think it grossed the birthday girl and kimberly and lilin and kerryn out. yepp got into mutilating the cake so much that it ended up getting totally deformed and destroyed by my own dearie hands. yeucks. den mer was being ego again, and she took her baby photo out to show us-yep the baby is cute but not u-awwww- so ego she, keep repeating how cutee she is. XP ahh den she had to go and i had to go. i ran to the guardhouse to wait for eehui's mom with wenshi and eehui and saw mer walking towards the gate after awhile. blehhh so i hi-ed and bye-ed wheee and eehui's mom came to send us to pcps, where we did bonding and huggled teachers and juniors over there. yeaaaaa. nice day today:) almost everyone changed in one way or another. yingying looked so sweet. so does nicole and ruixin. like always. hehe ok ok. all de girls looked sweet! yayy. 6a rockk! morons rockk more!

2004-08-31T19:31:00.000-07:00

hehehehehe.

2004-08-30T19:05:00.000-07:00

god, i am such a coward. i have "unpublished" that entry. just dont want to offend anyone. but i saved it as a draft anyway, so i have let it all out. though i can only say one day ppl will get sick of all ur insults and inability to accept ppl for who they are. okk. dont get me wrong or anything, i respect u. but u needa put urself in others shoes[yep tt's my fave phrase].
Anyway todae, played the mouse and cat game during PE. still wondering why i always Kena be a cat or mouse. Run until i almost dieded. Dunno isit u ppl sabo me or wad. haha ok nvm. got me fair share of exercise;)then during eng irene's grp presented and they were all quite dubious and unclear. but the story was rather interesting. hehe irene:)then during recess, the darn computer wont work. the schs system has broken down or someth. we were freaking out like cats on boilin bricks. how are we gonna present ipw?? ahhh. denn during geog got bad geog marks was quite disappointed. cos i shud have compared point by point. everything was there, but i didnt put them side by side, so only got 1.5/4 for that question, sadded. nvm. i will piaaa for the EOYs, die die also must pia. nvm, in the end we couldnt present ipw and mrs ng got quite sarcastic abt the whole thing when i said we may have to present it another day. haiz. nvm.
oh yeah during recess some choir members met up at the pond to celebrate Zoe's bdae. hehe i think it was melissa's idea. budden most of the sec3s took part in that. haha nice me went to get most of the sec1s to come down;) den we sang happi birthday, with shocked zoe looking happy[ahh but i think she knew it all along]. i feel so sweet. i mean this may not be a beeg beeg deal or wad, bud the seniors are so nice. never tot they could be so sweeet. touching siaz. frendship brings u joyy!!!
yeahhh!!! today me super hyper again. someth wrong wif me seriously. last week i was all sadded. then starting fr yesterdae i gone all crazy and wiry up there[points to head] i hope i keep this up. being happy sure beats wallowing in sorrow all daaay long!

2004-08-29T15:55:00.000-07:00

Faith
For Felicia and some other important people in my life.

Faith walked home slowly. She fought her tears, but they streamed down like a flowing river of sorrow. She felt she was drowning into an endless pit, and that she will never reach the bottom, never touch the ground, never to see light again. Confusion and guilt choked her like a thick blanket and she could not breathe. She struggled to keep her mind clear, but in vain.

She stepped into her mansion, and picked up a framed photo of Pete by the crystal display in the hall. She thought of Pete, and her heart wrenched bitterly, breaking into a thousand pieces. Her boyfriend, whom she dearly loved, died of a heart attack the day before, and she still cannot bring herself to accept the fact that someone so dear to her has overnight disappear forever, without even saying goodbye. There will be no one to love her anymore. “If only I could turn to my parents,” she thought, then gave a mirthless laugh. Her parents? They probably have forgotten all about her after leaving her with this big mansion all to herself. “They probably thought they could compensate for their lack of love with this big, stupid house.” She murmured, feeling disillusioned.

She walked on, and other thoughts clouded her head. As she picked up the musical box that lay on her grand piano, Miranda, her best friend came to her mind. Well, her ex best friend anyway. A week ago, a heated argument happened between them when Faith found out how Miranda has betrayed and used her as a dare. Faith was hurt, and she confronted Miranda, and a big fight ensued with them hurling vulgarities at each other. Finally they ended the fight by vowing never to talk to each other again.

The musical box was a gift from Miranda to Faith on her 16th Birthday. The beautifully carved crystal box was exquisite and it shone brilliantly, illuminating the words “Forever Friends we will be” that were engraved on the heart-shaped cover of the box. Open it, and the melody of “Right here waiting” will sound. To Faith it was the most beautiful thing she had ever received, because as she beheld the beautiful box in her palms, she could feel the joy of the world that friendship brings.

“But it doesn’t really matter now. Nothing really matters now.” Faith broke her thoughts abruptly as the harsh reality smacked her in the face. She can never accept the fact that she is all alone in this world, yet she really is.

“Am I going to live life like that till my dying day? What’s left for me anyway…”

She went into the kitchen, and found a bottle of sleeping pills. Clutching it tightly with her fingers, she walked aimlessly around the house, thinking of what will happen if she were to swallowed the whole bottle of them. “Dying in this big empty shell, nobody will know whether I am dead or alive” she muttered sadly.

Then Faith realized something that she still could derive happiness from.Slowly, as though time as come to a standstill, she put down the bottle of pills. She walked towards her grand piano, and glided her fingers along the cover, feeling its aura of melancholy, and gently stroked the piano keys. First she touched the ebonies, then the ivories, and she felt calm for once. Then she felt the pedals with her leg, and she calmed down gradually. Slowly, she shut her eyes, as tears once again flowed down her cheeks. She placed her fingers on the keys, and started to tinkle on them, her fingers dancing placidly but expressively on the keys.

The familiar melody of Rachmaninov's piano concerto no. 3 filled the house with its resonating tune, and it was full of feeling and expressions, coming from Faith’s heart, coming from her soul. It was a weave work of her passion and her love. While she played, she pedaled the notes softly, and the tune rang in the house. Suddenly, she felt calm, she felt tranquil, as though nothing in the world can disturb the bond between her and her music. She thought of Pete, the memories they shared, the happy times they had together, and she smiled. She thought of Miranda, her infectious laughter, her comforting voice, and she smiled. She thought of herself when she was a just a baby, and her parents were always by her side, and she smiled. And as she smiled, her fingers were still dancing on the keys as she savored those moments of magic. It was like a road she wanted to keep going, a river she wanted to keep flowing.

As she hit the last note, she opened her eyes, and she heard the voice in her heart.

“God rewards those who live their lives well. Not for others, but for themselves. You will truly benefit from the lessons life give if you choose to see things in a positive light, even in the most mundane of things. Instead of wallowing in anguish, you can try deriving happiness out of things that cheer you up, things that you will never cease to enjoy doing because it brings you so much joy. And from it, you will relive your memories, and you will understand and mature. If you choose to concentrate on the items that spark happiness in your heart, then you will truly be happy. Have faith in yourself, and god will bless you.”

Faith smiled as though the music she played had clear all the doubts in her heart. She picked up the bottle of pills, looked at it, and shook her head. Then she opened up her musical box, and joy flooded her heart as the music rang. She knew what she was going to do. Her hands trembled slightly as she picked up her phone, and very slowly, she dialed Miranda’s number. Perhaps it was time to make peace.

2004-08-29T12:43:00.000-07:00

-reflective-ahh i just realised something, i have no soulmate. and tts sad. for 13 years in my life, my sense of direction has brought me to some very good friends, but for all these 13 years, i have never really met anyone i could relate to, and bare my soul. Well i guess it is hard to find people like this. Probably i wont find any till the end of my life, but in any case i still thank god for all the good ppl arnd me, all my friends, seniors, mentors, and everyone who made me smile. and i rly appreciate them for all they have done.
-my day- yep today as usual we went to macritchie at 6 in the morn again, and i attempted to run thru the big dense dark creepy forest there by myself. about few KMs.well mostly i ran along the wooden walkway thingy constructed just above the lake/river and it is also by the greenery and plants so as i jogged i could see all the plants and some of them have explanation boards. so i just jogged and jogged and then i jogged back thru the dark creepy forest. It was only about 7 in the mornin and it was so freaky. i was alone until i reached a point where i see some other joggers so we all jogged and jogged. i suddenly thought of geography and the chapters we recently studied. tropical rainforest. there's rly the emergents and canopy and undergrowth stuff. and they werent kidding when they say the temp to be so hot. and it was so dense. well when i jogged back to me family, i saw some monkeys. and a chicken. cute. den i remember i saw a frog in the drain by the hawker centre yesterdae. nice. yea so i went home to play nocturne in c# minor. phew.
-mood-im glad u cheered up.

2004-08-28T19:43:00.000-07:00

Its ok to break down. Its ok not being able to suppress your emotions. Really. Because you are only human, and now you are laden with such a big responsibility. U have tried ur best, and we know. yes we know. But this is all part of the training, and it is inevitable, so dont blame yourself when things get screwed up, cos its not 100% your fault. We see your effort, we really do. And we have to say that ms lim made the right choice of giving you the post, because you have been giving your all for the good of the choir, and we respect you for that. Cheer up, i am sure the committee and the choir will help you along, and we will see better days. We are counting on you to bring us to greater heights, dont lose faith in yourself, because we see a better US in you. Cheer up!=)

2004-08-24T19:22:00.000-07:00

`You will waltz to even the most primal beats, if you have a passion for dance.
`You will sway to even the simplest music, if you have a passion for music.
`For you will never cease to enjoy doing something you love.

ahh. todae we had an assembly talk it was rather nice actually. cheronne and ophy was sooo farnie. marissa should have volunteered lar...cos i noe, i just noe that her speech is such a good one it would have rouse that agreement in many people's heart. Ahh anyway todae the teacher on stage was talking about psgl and the peer support programme. me thinks its quite nice. but must fill in the application form first, den the teacher will consider the answers and she will also ask form teachers for feedback on conduct and she will also check the academic achievements. wahhh. see the criteria me wanna faint. elizabeth, irene, jac, bern, jiaying wanna try. i actually hesitated...then aiyar nvm just try lor. cos is like can help those sec 1s to adapt to their new sec sch life...not bad larrr. but i dun think i can pass. dont think i can be a psgl. i think some ppl in 1/3 can try. cos some of them have good leadership qualities. that's the most impt thing. how u lead. not results. buddd...i rly rly think i cant get in. who am i tryin to kid? arhhh.

joyeux anniversaire SARS!!

Almost every man wastes part of his life in attempts to display qualities which he does not possess, and to gain applause which he cannot keep. ~Samuel Johnson, The Rambler, 1750

2004-08-23T17:49:00.000-07:00

i am tired, tired, tired. can feel myself falling into an endless time pit. Unsure of when i will touch the ground, regain my strength to be firm again. For 6 mths the class has been trying to reside in some sort of harmony, den now this kinda thing has happened again. i noe everyone has their points, and nobody can define wad is right or wrong definitely. lets all try to accept each others' flaws...perhaps we should just let it go. dont try to change someone who will never be. we may end up suffering ourselves, or making others unhappy for tryin to mould them into something they could never fit in. the few sides of the class are prominently shown. but united we stand divided we fall. think about it as a class. Now that blogs have become a medium for insinuating bad stuff about classmates. Tagboards have become silent killers. I really dont want to take sides. but its so tiring trying to peace things out. Although sit on the fence get poked in the butt.
Perhaps put yourself in each other's shoes. If its obvious that the person wants something for the welfare of the class, maybe it could be taken into consideration that u try to do it also. Not trying to change yourself into something u cant be, but that little bit of change is worth it if it lets you become a better person. If we all think more and talk less, we will understand why some ppl want some things to happen the way they want. Then we can think of the big idea. whether its beneficial? try to take in what others has said then reconsider. u all are so intelligent, u all have your points, some of them are valid and u noe it. if we were more democratic ppl, wont the class be a warmer and cosier place to be in? Try not to insist that all your thoughts and perspectives are correct. Its different now. As we grow up, we mature. then we learn how to judge.
May you all learn how to judge not only for the welfare for yourself, but constantly picture the big idea and put yourselves in others' shoes, and the class would be a much better place to be in. Amen.

2004-08-21T14:58:00.000-07:00

Woots. Today was so farnie. I didnt have a PE shirt cos they are all in the wash, so I asked jac to bring one for me, and she brought her sister's old one. So i wore it, and it looked like i was wearing a Dress. So big! ARGgh. In the end decided not to go for PT. I just sat at the canteen piano there with meikeen and dion and janice. denn they played their music. and i was all "sheesh i feel so lousy" cos they were in grade 7/8 but stupid me stil in grade 6. Grade 6! Arrgggh.
Choir was pretty ok. I think it has become more interesting, i cant explain why. But it jus has. Gahhh. Must remember to bring the scores for salve regina and ave verum corpus next week. Ave verum corpus is niceee! Its in french. I can read it! woots. [lame]
After tt me and yiting were walking towards the bus stop. Denn at the area near the rock wall and the alumni room, we saw a black butterfly. at first we thought it was those kind of black ash that people erhem erhem burn. then we saw the butterfly resting, and flapping its wings. both of us were so excited[i also dunno why].I held yitings hand and we chased the butterfly and i was like "Omen! its an omen!!!"den the butterfly flew towards us, turning away fr the bus stop. We thought it was an omen that we should not go take bus. Then when it landed somewhere up there, we were contemplating whether there was hidden treasure there. So fun! Omen. hehe.
Gahh. tried my hand at the fantasie impromptu piece by chopin. i still cant figure out how to play the left hand together with the right hand cos the timing is so WEIRD. So i am still stuck at the 8th bar. Must remind myself to ask jean lee at the next piano lesson. hmmm.

2004-08-21T08:30:00.000-07:00

Random thoughts:

Ghana.
Do I have the physical capability to do that? Its such a faraway dream.
What about time?
And money?
Can we do it? can we make a difference?

What is a starfish's lifespan?
What are Famous Amos cookies made of.

People's horrible attitude towards teachers.
State of the classroom. dirty.
Why is it always dirty? Even after kind ppl have cleaned it up for ya? Do you think they are your maids? For gods sake you dont even pay them. And they are just like you. You have no right to make the classrm dirty, then expect them to clean it all up.
And the classrm computers are there to make things convenient for ya. You dont use it for 20 mins in the morning, then when its time for assembly, u dont switch it off.
Punctuality of work-put yourselves in your teacher's shoes.you'll know how they feel.

Chopin's fantasies and nocturns.

Ronald Susilo and Li Jia Wei.

Microsoft powerpoint.

Geog project.

Cells.

PRAGUE TRIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I WANT TO GO PRAGUE WITH THE CHOIR!!!!!!!! Gahhh.

2004-08-20T19:55:00.000-07:00

Check out PeiRong's blog. Sure, i cannot deny that Sicheng deserves to be loved and have friends as much as any of us do. I do not deny that, because everyone on Earth deserves to feel the joy of love and friendship. I also cannot, and will not deny that Sicheng may have a genius in her waiting to burst out from her soul, because everyone are talents in their own ways. Yes, no one should be criticised like that, no one should be ostracized like that. And yes, to insult her blatantly and to post bad things about her publicly is going abit too overboard.
You may think that she is innocent and just different from the rest of the people. However you do not know another side of the story. You think what people tell you about her, and try to assume the kind of person she is. Did you ever think that she may have another side of her that pisses people off? And you definitely cannot blame people for isolating her like that. Do you know that she can get very nasty? She writes things like "so and so deserves to die" "i want to put her head in the blender" in her diary. The society is like that, people tend to ostracize who they cant accept. But to think about it from another POV, Sicheng herself, has alot of bad points that makes her EQ equal to 0. Well Sicheng may have some problems we do not know of that makes her that way, or simply, she is just that way. Maybe its not her weird antics that cause people to isolate her. Could it be another side of her? The bad side of her? Just like everyone else, she IS normal. Perhaps people just dont like her because she can get really nasty? Not because she "shares music with a old mama".
Then again, this other side of her may be caused by ostracization. Perhaps isolation has left her thoughts to run wild, TOO wild. So maybe all she needs is a little love, a little care, a little friendship. Maybe emotions can move her. Well I dont noe. I used to think that she IS NOT abnormal, she is just different. So many times i have tried to strike up conversations with her...and it always ended with me banging my head against the wall.
Okay my point is. You cannot blame people for ostracizing her, because you dont noe WHY they do it. To assume is to make an ASS of U and ME. However you want to give her something other people can never wholeheartedly give to touch her, you can. you CAN make the little difference, and I will try again to do so. But you must understand people do things for a reason. Not everyone is as magnanimous and kind as you. Perhaps we can all try to give her a chance again. And this time dont bang your heads against the wall when you only talk to her for 10 mins. Maybe you could give her more time, then you'll realise why she do things the way she does? Well i really dunno. I'll jus try.

2004-08-20T16:50:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time there was a wise man that used to go to the ocean to do his writing.
One day he was walking along the shore. As he looked down the beach, he saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself to think of someone who would dance to the day. So he began to walk faster to catch up.

As he got closer, he saw that it was a young man and the young man wasn't dancing, but instead he was reaching down to the shore, picking up something and very gently throwing it into the ocean.

As he got closer he called out, "Good morning! What are you doing?"

The young man paused, looked up and replied, "Throwing starfish in the ocean."

"I guess I should have asked, why are you throwing starfish in the ocean?"

"The sun is up and the tide is going out. And if I don't throw them in they'll die."

"But, young man, don't you realize that there are miles and miles of beach and starfish all along it.
You can't possibly make a difference!"

The young man listened politely. Then bent down, picked another starfish and threw it into the sea, past the breaking waves and said,
"It made a difference for that one."

There is something very special in each and every one of us, and we must each find our own starfish.

You have been gifted with the ability to make a difference in this world and if you follow your heart -- the world will indeed be blessed!

2004-08-19T17:23:00.000-07:00

I really dont noe wad is wrong with me. Maybe its all part of growing up. But i see this in myself and not other people, and it frightens me. It frightens me so much that i want to cry. Perhaps i just cant bring myself to accept the rapid change in me and now that i am in the period of adolescence, everything just seem worse than they are. Perhaps I just dont have the mental capability to handle stress and puberty. Spritually, i feel down. Psychologically, i feel horrid. Its as if in this whole wide world, i cant find anyone to confide in. Everyone is busy with their own life, and in front of some people, i cant act like my true self. The feeling is so terrible. Suddenly, its as if i just have to vent all my frustrations on some people that used to piss me off, and its really not their fault. Its me. Its as if this ugly me is threatening to burst out from within my soul. Trying hard to keep it in, but it seems inevitable that it has to come out sooner or later. Its not just me, actually. Its everything. I cant just pretend nothing has happened. It shocks me that i am growing up so fast that I cant stop to appreciate the beauty of the world. Everything is mundane, and in life things are repeating themselves over and over again, and i seem to be getting nowhere. I am still trapped. I cant get out. I cant breathe. I cant think. I just want to cry.

2004-08-18T19:58:00.000-07:00

Freak it. Susilo lost! 10-15, 15-1!!!
Actually, he still had the chance to gain marks! but he got too impatient! almost all the losses were because of he hitting the shuttlecock to the out area. Arhh! i am so disappointed!:( i was hoping he could win. den bring glory to singapore! too bad now...dreams shattered.

2004-08-18T17:49:00.000-07:00

Haiz, todae during french class kena madame Lee scold me in front of the whole class twice. once she even made me stand for 5 mins. sho bad. but i am in a good mood. Well, better than the past few days anyway. For one thing, my migraine's gone[hugs mom]! And...no more chinese test![chinese test was so damnit de killer]bud there are 4 tests coming up [again]which are geog, sci, math, and french. Must pia again no matter wad. Yeahh!! 3.2km cross country run this fri! i am sho darn excited. Can burn all those kilos again. Hmm. And there's class breakfast tomoro[technically its school breakfast, but anyway]..looking forward to it. Also there's the geog assignment. Yeahh i am so glad we have got an idea wad to do le! Its gonna be so interesting! taken quite a liking to cells. Just found out that my encyclopedias have lotsa info abt them. i am so gonna read up on them.
Random thoughts:-
kevin kern's piano pieces.
Egg tarts.
Why some people are so irritating.
Why some people can see so much of the world but others just cant.
How much will it cost to send a letter to France?
Singapore Idol.
Calculators.
Poetry.
Short story writing is gonna be fun!
Rocks are interesting.
Are teachers as responsible as what they made us think they are? Are we as bad as they make us out to be?
Susilo won.
Dance is so cool.
Why some people refuse to work hard and just want to slack till the end of their life.
Why some people are so beautiful.

2004-08-17T21:49:00.000-07:00

Yeahh i am so happy.Rejoiced.Jubilated.Elated.Esctatic. Just received a postcard from my french penpal! Its this glossy sheet of postcard with 5 pictures of castles and the words "Chateaux De La Loire" on it. The pictures of the castles are so beautiful! Never thought that such beautiful architecture exist. Oh wells...i am such a suaku. they r like those walt disney castles i find on the net. she said she visited lots of beautiful castles and that the weather there is very good. And she is going to visit Mon St Michael[wadever that is]. Ahh!its so nice of her! And her stamps are so interesting!
J'aime elle. Elle est mon bon amie parce que elle est tres sympathique et agreable!:)

Je suis heureux beaucoup! Voila!
Bisous.

2004-08-14T22:30:00.000-07:00

i just pia-ed for de upcoming cl test on mon, and i got pretty sick of it. i wouldn have done the piaaing today if not for the concert tomoro. Yeahh tomoro we r putting up a concert at the ESPLANADE with the alumni...the esplanade!!is that cool or wad? But the acoustics are *@#!@%* cos the place is so high and big and arh! but its rly cool. esp for the finale part...where we get to sway the mini silver torchlights in our hands and look like glow sticks in the dark while walking from the aisle to the stage...pretty sight. anyway the esplanade is really big and cool, and the changing room can hold the whole choir quite comfortably. There are abt 50+ mirrors--u noe those old stuff where light bulbs surround the squarish mirrors that kind den u can light dem up at night yeah--those are so cool. I think i am going to bring all my chinese materials there to study. no matter wad i must pia all the way.

2004-08-13T19:17:00.000-07:00

eunice's latest entry is very inspirational.and how true it is. Being stagnant will hinder ur ability to move on and look ahead. Being stagnant means not changing because you think you are safer to stick to what u are doing forever.
Actually it has all got to do with security. People have this fear that they will not be able to excel in new areas...so they have never dared to even try. At the end of the day, they are only impeding their potentials from being discovered and fufiled to the fullest. Another reason is others' expectations of you. You are afraid to let people down, or you are fearful of embarassing yourself.
It is this thought that causes people to stay the same. Take me for example. I have joined choir in primary sch for 5 years. When i first came to nygh, i wanted to try out a new thing. But the first thing that came to my mind was madam yap. She would be disappointed that i had not choosen to go on with choir. The next was: If i chose to join a new cca, and if i were to do badly in it...wad's going to become of me?
Isnt it safer, much much safer to stick to choir, where i know i can do it well. I had a long list of cca to consider...badminton.dance.band.chinese ochestra. i really really wanted to join badminton...or dance. But the fears in me uprose to push my thought of exploring new stuff away. So now i am in choir...because i thought that if i werent good in dance there's no meaning to join it...
If not for it being a second cca, i would not have choosen air rifle. Because i didnt think i would excel in it.
Its these scary fears that cause people to stay the same. No courage to be new. Worried of people's expectations of you......but to think of it again, who are we living our life for? Its really these things that make you happy, the things that u truly enjoy doing that make life worth living in this materalistic society.
When we find ourself exploring new worlds, doing stuff that we'd like to try...we can say that we are living our life for ourselves. In this world...you have to keep trying...keep improving...so that you will not let yourself down.

2004-08-11T18:43:00.000-07:00

today was so strange. first in french class i was like guai guai doing my french hw in the french exercise book. denn at 4.10 Madame lee was like counting counting the ex books that have been handed up and i thought i didnt hand up, so i frantically search my desk and my bag. so when i didnt find it i tot ruiping handed up for me le.i was all ~phew!~ and madame lee was pissed when she found out some ppl nv hand in so she asked everyone to stand up and she called out names and one by one ppl sat down and in the end only i was left standing!!! i freaked out.
"Where the hell is it?? RUUIIPIIINNNG!!! help me find please!! Ahhh!"
So i wasnt allowed to sit down until dismissal bell rang, and u bet i felt like a total idiot standing up alone. then everyone rushed home, but i was still there trying pathetically hard to find the book...but in vain. Madame lee was like "are u sure u handed it up? I dont have ur book." *shook head* i was close to tears.
"I dont noe!! i was doing it just now! and i finished it and went to do other stuff then suddenly it just Poof! disappeared!!" everyone was gone and only sai and me and madame lee was in the class.
remember i said i was close to tears? suddenly the tears just started streaming out. i was feeling so darn freaked out! Sai was all calming ~its ok...dont cry dont cry...~ but i was so worried and sad cos i did my work properly in that new ex book[something i do once in a blue moon]and it just poof! disappeared. Madame lee saw me tearing. so she just said "go home and find it." and i was all ready to roll my eyes cos i noe i had it with me in class when i remembered i was the one not able to hand in hw.
den i was walking with sai and den...i talked with sai and isuddendly switched fr depression mode to crazy mode and i kept joking with sai and den we met mangx and pam at macs so we all went to macs. but mangx and i wanted to go j8 mos burger and sai and pam wanted to stay in macs"cos got ice cream mah!" so me and mangx against sai and pam scissors paper stone in the end me and mangx lost. so we had to guai guai de stay:)) denn when mangx bent down beside me to tie shoelace i jumped and sat on her and she got all touchy and laughy and tickled me[after i bounced on her twice that is] and then my whole file flew out of my hands sort of floppled and den the french ex book dropped out!![all these happened in macs]
i saw it and was half laughing cos i was so utterly bemused. told sai and she was like "awwww..." and mangx kept going "See i am a blessing in disguise" :))denn we all went home bud i went j8 with mangx first until 5.30 it was so fun!

p.s EUnice: hey i am sorry for being abit sarcastic and rude to ya but i was just so pissed of with the class at that point as no one was listening. so sorry!:0

2004-08-10T22:44:00.000-07:00

We, the morons of 6A 2003,

pledge to stay moronic for the

rest of our lives,

和 our fellow morons 有福同享，

有难同当and never lose contact

and in so doing,

honour our moronic motto,

imbÃ©ciles mecen la casa.

May our moronship

last for eternity.

Moron Ohana Tiamo!

http://moron-fam.blogspot.com

2004-08-10T22:20:00.000-07:00

U noe i still love you like i've always do.but do u still care? i noe u do dont u? if u really care, then lets try to patch things up. if u are really experiencing moodswings, like bx had told me, den i suppose i could accept all that stuff u said to me. but if all this really started with ya, shud i be the one apologisin? maybe i should for not caring enough. dont u think u shud to? it takes two to clap. u have to understand that i have been excluded fr the big grp for such a long time, and did u think i love the feeling? give me time to heal.

2004-08-09T19:27:00.000-07:00

i wish i could dance.

2004-08-08T20:31:00.000-07:00

wow i went to the esplanade yesterday to watch the fireworks...there were so many ppl but we managed to squeeze our way thru. we just settled down on a pavement in front of the white WAR MEMORIAL thing. we waited for about 30 mins to watch the first fireworks ignite the dark sky. it was breathtaking. Sparks of different colours were whirling around in a certain pattern and it lighted up the night sky beautifully. People oohed and aahed and applauded and some captured this moment of magic with their digicams.
As i watched the fireworks, i felt as though they brought the country's hope, glory and inspirations as they rose up high into the sky. A pity it only lasted for 8-10 mins.

2004-08-06T17:46:00.000-07:00

.name?.: jiamin
age?.: 13+.
birthdate?.: 050291
hair color?.: light blue
eye color?.: i dont have eyes
where were you born?.: on a bed
location now?.: in front of the com
zodiac sign?.: aquarius
have you ever .
smoked?.: nah- i HATE cigarettes
gotten drunk?.: nope. i hate alcohol too.
.gotten high?.: always HiGh!!.
stolen anythin?.: ums...
been kissed?.: by parents??
snuck out?.: nah i am a good good girl
do you
have any tattoos?.: yes...on my forehead. .
.have any piercings?.: yeah
if so,what's pierced?.: my ear lobes, my upper lip, my tongue, my nose, my eyelid and my chin;)
favorites
.color?.: black white silver blue pink
.food?.: yoghurt. health bars. FRUITS.
.drink?.:fruit juices
.number?.: 5, 2, 31
animal?.: horses, dogs, hamsters
.song?.: Lydia! Flyaway. S.H.E's songs.
website?.:happy tree friends[i totally adore those cute creatures!]
relationships .
do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?.: ...
crush?.: yea..
who.?: Edison Chen!!! ARHHHH!
whats the first thing you notice in the opposite sex?.: charisma
friends
.best friend?.: moron fam. some other 6a peers. some 1/3 ppl!
funniest?.: felicia.bingxiang.kuoying.
craziest?.: felicia, jacqueline, peirong, bernice[they r crazie enuf for girls.]
nicest?.: felicia, irene, bernice, eunice, moron fam! michelle, ruixin...
meanest?.:ums...
shortest?.:pamelia, mingyi, nic
cutest?.:all of dem![esp xinrong]
loudest?.:felicia, kuoying, derek, chimo, jac, mingyi
philosophicalest?.:eunice, irene, marissa
cleverest?.: xinrong, jolene, eunice, irene, and all of 6a!
boy-craziest: bernice[u and ur toro;)], jac, felicia [wad abt michael moscovitz?]
shyest?.: no one'-_-
prettiest?.:all are equally pretty.
this or that
pepsi or coke?.:pepsi...but aint they the same?
day or night?.: night..
kiss or hug?.: dunno.
black or white?.: black
mcdonalds or burger kind?.: mackies
lights on or lights off?.: lights off[bed time!!]
.snow or rain?.: snow.beautiful!
blondes or brunettes?.: blacks.
cats or dogs?.: doggies!
bath or shower?.: wads the diff?
last time you..
hugged someone?.: cant remember.
kissed someone?.:...
talked on the phone?.: with irene
talked on the internet?.: always!!

2004-08-02T04:53:00.000-07:00

i often wonder; why do i exist on this world. This cold hard world. What is my worth?
Did god put me on Earth for a purpose? When i feel that i dont belong, what should I do?
Am i just a being that lives in this world for no reason. Am i just something that is useless.
For everything i do, who should i answer to? Is it my teacher? Is it my friends? Is it my family? Or is it my heart?
Do i blindly, aimlessly do everything for the sake of doing. What's the point then?
I dont even noe why i am here.
I dont even noe what is my dream.
I dont even noe how i want to live my life.
I dont even noe who i really am.
I dont even noe where i can find true happiness.
I dont even noe when i can fufil my destiny.
But I do know something.

+___;I am not alone.*//

2004-08-01T06:11:00.000-07:00

A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, he said...no. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever....and he said no. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, and once again he replied with a no. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said....You're not pretty you're beautiful.I dont want to be with you forever. I NEED to be with you forever.And I wouldnt cry if you walked away...I'd die...

2004-07-28T03:40:00.000-07:00

What's in a dream?
What is a dream?
What is my dream?

2004-07-19T03:21:00.000-07:00

Mrs Ng used to say this to us:
if God so hates you , i will be your Form teacher next yr

You know what? I suddenly have the urge for God to hate me.

2004-06-05T19:08:00.000-07:00

A girl and a boy were on a motorcycle, speeding through the night. They loved each other a lot..
Girl: "slow down a little.. I'm scared.." Boy: "No, it's so fun.." Girl: "please..it's so scary.."
Boy: "Then say that you love me.." Girl: "Fine..I love you..can you slow down now?"
Boy: "Give me a big hug.." The girl gave him a big hug.
Girl: "Now can you slow down?"
Boy: "Can you take off my helmet and put it on? It's uncomfortable and it's bothering me while i drive."

The next day, there was a story in the newspaper.
A motorcycle had crashed into a building because its brakes were broken. There were two people on the motorcycle, of which one died, and the other had survived... The guy knew that the brakes were broken. He didn't want to let the girl know, because
he knew that the girl would have gotten scared. Instead, he was told the last time that she loved him, got a hug from her, put his helmet on her so that she can live, and die himself...

Once in awhile, Right in the middle of an ordinary life, Love gives us a fairy tale...

*Catch a falling star*

Catch a falling star